Watch out! It's Recyclosaurus!! (Kroger)
If anyone has read my blog lately, they may pick up on the idea that, among all my other traits, I am, shall we say, extremely disorganized. Thank god for chairs and computers and books and printers and notebooks and pen and paper. Words are a wonderful world of partially-furnished organization.
I also love organization. It’s soooooooo cool. But I just don’t have the knack to do and keep it done in the physical world. So my life, in the home organization department, is pretty much spent getting organized (to a greater or lesser degree) and then spending the next two years on the sliding board of disorganization, only to land in the disorganization mudpit at the bottom of the slide, where it becomes so obvious that disorganization is now a problem that I must do something about it.
Which brings us to this article. This last home organization cycle has lasted for more than two years. That is to say, I’ve been living in the mudpit for awhile, peppered with periods or even moments where I cleaned up enough to notice an improvement and then stopped. If you follow this blog, you’ll notice that I have been climbing back up that sliding board since the weekend of Christmas.
So disorganized? Yes. But will I find single-use plastic shopping bags in this mess? No. Because, while disorganized, I’m also an environmentalist and lover of the planet who tries in my disorganized way make choices about my lifestyle that are consistent with my love of the planet.
No single-use plastic in this disorganized gal’s house. Instead, I find, in my cleaning adventure, a medium-sized pile of recycled shopping bags. Not a huge pile, because it isn’t really true that Hoarders invited me on their show, and if someone suggests that, Hoarders and I both know it isn’t true. But a pile, yes, and one bigger than I can use to do my food-shopping. Fresh vegetables really don’t take that much room in shopping bags.
And of course, you’re ahead of me. You know why I have that medium-sized pile. You all (except the most organized) experience those moments walking into the grocery store, the “Crap! I forgot the recycled shopping bags!” moments. The ones you even stomp your foot and snap your fingers about, right there in the grocery store. But I refuse to use single-use shopping bags. Nope. Not gonna do it. Ergo, medium-sized pile. If I were more organized, I could say medium-sized stack. But, alas, I am not, and cannot.
So, I just decided this morning that if you, dearest (you have no idea how dear, unless my stats are showing) reader, would like to have one of my existing shopping bags, please leave a comment and I’ll send one to you.
It’s not like I’m the Imelda Marcos of shopping bags; I don’t have that many. I just have more than I need and thought I would share. Simple. So, when my paltry pile is empty, I won’t purchase more just so I can send one to you.
Hm. Wait a minute. Maybe I will.
If you take a pledge not to use single use shopping bags in your comment on this piece, I will send you a brand new one.
Show your love for the planet. Leave a comment. Pledge to not use single-use plastics shopping bags. I can’t send an on-request, particular kind, but I think you’ll like them.
Hey, pledge in the comment to work on an ordinance for your City Council to end the use of single-use plastic bags within its jurisdiction, also providing contact information for your Mayor and City Council members, and I’ll send you five new recycled shopping bags.
But you won’t find a Publix bag in the lot, because they sponsor the diabolical dolphin show at the Georgia Aquarium, and I will never give my money to Publix, unless I am visiting my mom, where that is apparently all they have.
Wait. Ooh. If you sign the pledge at Save Japan Dolphins to not go to the dolphin show and comment on this article indicating the date and time (for verification, because I’m a bitch) you signed the Pledge at Save Japan Dolphins, I will send you five new free recyclable shopping bags, too. I’m still not guaranteeing the message. But you’ll like them, unless you’re a bolt of cloth. Note that Save Japan Dolphins has not approved this; this is just me on a Saturday morning drinking coffee.
And what about my medium-sized pile? I’ll continue to palm them off on my most honored first and last born and his amazing sweetheart.
Late-breaking edit: I’m thinking a five-bag maximum makes sense. I wouldn’t want you to start creating your own pile. So, if you both pledge to not go to the dolphin show AND agree to work on an ordinance in your town, you’ll get twice the karma points, but not the number of bags, except for Georgia, whose awesome commitment brought this consideration to the surface. And can only do this for U.S. addresses. At least for now.
Note: It doesn't say "Organize it." or maybe I would have? Basically.